turkeys are amazing

This one time I was walking in the woods and I saw a turkey, so I ran after it and I saw his getting all red, so I ran and then I  could feel something fly pass me and the turkey has jets on his feet with lasers as its eyes so I ran the other way and it shot me right in the butt it hurt. So I stopped and turned around and it was goon I didn't see I look and look for it and then I saw a transformer fly at me I got really scared. He stop I took him out for dinner it was fun and then he told me that they caught the turkey that was trying to kill me. I said great I didn't like him. Right when I said that a big army of turkey came flying through window and killed me.View here